Sometimes things will fall out of his pockets - his caribiner, his wallet, some coins, a receipt.

Tonight, I was remaking the bed after he was over. I found a key. It was stuck to a piece of cardboard with a barcode printed on the back - it looks like it might be a key that could be copied, from a hardware store.

It isn’t my key - my mom and I moved a lot of my room the other day, and I’ve never seen this key before. Besides, it was under the sheets, and neither of us felt it. Andrew said he didn’t know what it was for either - he said it wasn’t his.

Where did this key come from? What does it open? Why why why? I can’t stop thinking about it. It’s a mystery.

xM

the day I don’t have to feel guilty or ashamed about what I want 

will be the best day of my life.

I’m tired of keeping this all in my head.

xM

Sometimes, I stop and think and realize that there are a lot of reasons I’ll miss this house.

But on second though, there are that many more reasons that I will not miss this house.

Things are finally falling together.  

As I’ve said before, there are only a few pieces missing. 

xM

She asked, 

and I told her “no”.

And you laughed -

you laughed, you did -

and I 

feel

like 

a

widow.

xM

Ahhhh we got an apartment, we got an apartment!
I can’t believe it was so easy?  No, really, I was expecting it to be a way bigger pain in the ass.

Anyways, it’s such a nice little community up north, there’s trees and grass and flowers…  we have a little patio!  we have a nice renovated kitchen & bathroom!  Ah ah ah ahhh!

Maybe I’ll post pics before we’re done moving in (that’ll be in July).

:D :D 

xM

I’m making a lot of exceptions for you.

I don’t know if that’s right or wrong.

Maybe they’re not so much exceptions, but me changing my mind.

Right now, they feel like both.

I’m making a lot of exceptions / changes for you.

I hope it ends up being worth it.

xM

fretsnkeys

is the perfect username / email address for me, really.

frets

nkeys.

that pretty much sums me up as a person.

xM

My exact response to everyone who has lately been asking me “when?”.

xM 

I AM SICK AND TIRED OF BEING ALL

COY

AND

SILENT

AND

NOT SAYING WHAT I WANT TO SAY.

I would very much like to find out

what the codes mean

before I assign them

my own meaning.

Here’s something I have not encountered until recently:

You’re always encouraged to speak your mind, talk about what’s bothering you, not keep emotions inside…
but the second you let them out, people tear you apart.  
Whether it’s because they disagree, or because they can’t understand why you feel that way, or because they think your thoughts are invalid…
somehow they find a way to put you down.

I’m allowed to think and feel and express what I want to, 
especially because I’m not harming anything.

xM

• Also, I’ve actually strayed away from the typical round solitaire on white gold.  That’s what my mom’s ring is - just plain and simple - and it’s nice and everything, but I want a ring that is unique to ME.  I don’t want a ring that I’ve seen on anybody else before.  

• I hate gaudy rings.  I hate Tacori and Verragio.  Tiffany is pretty, but sooo overpriced and that’s stupid.  
• Marquise & Heart cut are the worst cuts ever.  I’m just throwing that out there. Round cut is so timeless & pretty, as well as Emerald cut. Oval is gorgeous, but not many places carry oval cut.

• I think colored stones look cheap & gaudy.  Diamond (or white sapphire) all the way.

• I also dislike how Emerald cut is called “emerald”.  I feel like that would confuse many men…
• I really do think engagement rings should be reflective of personality.
• I’m pretty sure only my mom & I know my ring size.  That was new information as of 4 days ago.
• I DON’T KNOW WHAT I AM DOING
• MAYBE I SHOULD SHUT UP
• BECAUSE THIS IS STUPID, TALKING TO MYSELF
• ABOUT THINGS I ALREADY KNOW
• ugh
• *self-loathing*

xM