maybe I’ll just sit here with a beer and look at small, pretty things.
it’s one of those nights
and
I’m… having trouble finding a reason not to.
xM
I walked slowly, which is rare for me. Usually when I walk in the city, it’s because I’m walking with purpose to a job or an internship or to school. Tonight though, I walked slowly. It was a cool evening, so I wore a hoodie and jeans and sneakers, something I wouldn’t normally do in the summer. Still, I would’ve been too cold without them.
Large, billowing clouds were lazily rolling in from both ends of the river - I hope they are thunderstorms. Maybe they’ll keep all this cool air down, and it will be cool in the morning as well - again, I can only hope.
I keep staring at the river beneath me. I wish so badly that I had a boat, even just a small kayak or a wooden canoe. I have always loved the water - any kind of water - and I want to be near it, in it. I can’t find the path that runs right up alongside the river, and I’m sad that I can’t sit next to it. Instead, I keep walking towards the dirty street across the way.
On my right, I pass a billboard for some liquor or beer. It is obnoxious and patronizing. On my left, I pass a billboard for Tacori. I was hoping this walk would clear my head, and my heart sinks when I see it. I force myself to look at the other billboard instead.
I continue walking, and he calls me. We talk, and he asks what I’m doing. I tell him where I’m walking, and he tells me that he doesn’t want me walking there. He calls his friend (and mine), and tells him to pick me up. I understand his concern, but I still wish I could have walked for a little longer. Oh well; it was getting dark anyway.
Looks like this walk / thinking-session is over.
Still no sign of thunderstorms.
xM
It is the perfect night for
thunderstorms
loud music
candles
and a stormy, swimming head.
xM
about where I’m going.
I want to be able to spend the night with you without lying to my parents that I’m “sleeping over at my friend’s house”.
I know that they’re conservative, traditional parents - and that’s not necessarily a bad thing - but I know what they’re afraid of. It’s their unspoken fear, and that’s not what happens.
It’s not that they dislike him - on the contrary, they adore him! But again, they’re conservative and traditional. Girlfriends don’t sleep over with boyfriends. Never ever.
So, off I go tonight; off to my house, to spend the night with him. Against their wishes, but absolutely in line with mine.
xM
P.S. - And by the way, here goes nothing. Here goes everything.
